A Deacon from my Church
Growing up gay has it's issues. But add church to the mix and you've got a whole new set of issues. In the church I grew up in, there was a particular Deacon...."Deacon Smith" who I admired and looked up to as a role model. He was married, well educated, and handsome. For years, he would give me advice on certain situations and we grew to really like each other. Nothing sexual, but a true mentorship. I grew up, graduated from high school, went away to college, and eventually settled in a different area. Over the years, every now and then, Deac and I kept in touch.
A few months ago, I went home and attended a service at my home church. A friend of mine came along for the experience. Service was great! The church was lively and everyone seemed to gain something from it. Afterward, they served food in the fellowship hall. My friend and I sat across from Deac and his wife at one of the long tables. At first, we were conversing amongst ourselves. As time progressed, other people were coming up to our table talking with different people which started a lot of side conversations. In fact, my friend Stacy and I were engaged in one between the two of us. Although Stacy and I were talking, I was able to overhear some of the other conversations that were going on around us.
One conversation in particular shocked me. A man, whom I didn't know, came over to our table and struck up a conversation with Deacon Smith. Deac is now in his 60's but still very attractive. The man that came over to the table was in the same age bracket. He too was attractive with a slim build. They exchanged casual greetings and Deacon Smith asked how his wife was doing. He responded that she was doing well, but couldn't attend today's service due to other obligations. Through their conversation, I learned that this other man lived in another city. All the while, Stacy is running her mouth about her job and how she's not happy with her current position. I'm halfway listening to her, but what I heard next out of the Deacon Smith's conversation shocked the shit outta me. The other gentleman leaned in a little closer to Deac and asked "Who is that young man over there in the navy suit?" Deacon Smith told him who the young guy was and they began to talk about him. The other gentleman said "Mmmmm, I think I need to give him my card....he looks like he got a big one."
By this time, I had totally tuned Stacy ass out. The tea was being spilt and she was getting in the way. LOL! I was immersed in their conversation while acting like I was listening to Stacy and keeping a straight face as not to react to the shit I was hearing in their convo. They went on to discreetly say things about his physique without being too loud or too vulgar. Saying things like, "he always got a big bugle in his pants so it's gotta be big". Or, "I don't know if he gets with the program, but if he does, I'd like to show him the ropes". My face is still facing Stacy, but I'm thinking.....Oh shit, Deacon Smith is DL!!!!! Deac and this man thought they were speaking in codes that protected them. For the most part, it did protect them. Here they are, speaking about fucking dudes right in front of Deac's wife (as she had a side conversation) and she was clueless!!!!
All this time, I had no idea Deacon Smith got down. I never thought in a million years that he would. But that day, I found out....he did. Considering the societal pressures of his time, it was very uncommon to be an openly gay man in the black community and be supported by family/community.
For some reason, older/mature gay men fascinate me. Especially small town Southern gay men. Because in a small town, everybody knows everybody. So, to hear stories of how they would sneak around with each other or how they knew someone was "down" just fascinates me. I love it! Before the days of A4A, Craigslist, and Jack'd, there was good old fashion eye contact and body language. I think we need to get back to more of that.
Til this day, Deac doesn't know that I overheard his conversation. But we still have a good friendship.