I describe it as.....picking up that first E. Lynn Harris novel or being fortunate enough to have a friend you can tell all your little nasty secrets. Yeah...that kind of feeling where you're so excited that someone else feels this way too!. A connection, a safe space where you won't be judged for having "certain feelings". It felt awesome to know that I wasn't alone.
If you want to read some of his old entries, click here
What the DL Dude Blog did for me was help me realize that there's levels to this shit. LOL! Being on the Down Low is multifaceted.
Definitions of DL
1) A man who has sex with women (openly appearing heterosexual) but secretly engages in homosexual activity unbeknownst to his female counterpart (i.e. wife, girlfriend, or the woman he is dating).
However, DL can also mean
2) A man who has sex with men, goes on a couple dates with women to outwardly appear heterosexual, but does not have sex with women.
3) A man who has sex with men but doesn't tell anyone or very few people. When in fact most people assume he is heterosexual.
This was the first time I saw DL broken down in this manner. I instantly connected because I'm totally #3. But as time goes on, it's harder and harder to keep this low profile. I'm sure I'll eventually come out and be the proud gay man that I can be, but for now, LET ME BE DL PLEASE! Thank you.
I stick with number #3 because I know that I like men and I don't want to involve a woman. I'm just not comfortable enough to come out yet. I'm sure a lot of people question my sexuality. But that's ok. It's been that way for years. I don't have anything to prove to anybody. Who I fuck is MY business.
Let me tell you about an experience I had with a female co-worker of mine. She was feeling me and we had been associates for a while. The last thing I wanted to do was lead her on and I made sure I didn't send any mixed signals. But she kept persisting with all these DAMN questions every other day.
"Soooo, who are you dating? Can I meet her? Show me some pictures of you guys together. How's your love life? What's going on in the world of Mister Kyle...I know you doing it." Like....WTF!!!! BACK OFF! Ladies, if a man likes you, he will try to sleep with you. If he ain't trying to sleep with you or at least take you out to dinner, he's probably not into you. Stop trying to get in his business. I CAN'T STAND A PROBING BITCH! Anyway, I lied and told her I was in a long distance relationship (with a female) to get her off my back. One thing about me is...if you want a story, I'll give you just what you want.
So this first blog entry is to my hero. Someone who inspired me to write down my feelings. I was sad when he deleted his blog, but I'm sure things got complicated. Especially when people where trying to find out his identity. I miss you DL Dude.
Enjoy this blog for what it is. There will be lots of interesting things to come back and read about. My sexcapades will probably take up the majority of them. LOL!
Until next time,