Monday, June 15, 2015

Let the Church Say A Man!

Let the Church Say A Man! 

   Yes, A Man. Not Amen. LOL! I was inspired to write this blog entry by one of my followers on Twitter. I tweeted something along the lines of meeting men in so many place. For instance, walking down the street, in the grocery store, commuting on the train or bus, and lastly, Church. He was a little taken aback by the last notation. However, it’s true, a LOT of things happen in and around church. A good reason is convenience. If you’re always in church (i.e. Sunday School, Sunday Morning Service, Sunday Night Service, Tuesday night Bible study, Thursday night choir rehearsal, and following the Pastor to wherever on the weekend) there’s not a lot of time to forge relationships with other people. So this entry will focus on an experience I had in my old church.

   I’ll never forget that day. It was a cold Tuesday night and I had gotten off work late. So I was running late to Bible Study. As not to disturb the Pastor from his teaching, I quickly pulled my winter gear off and grabbed the quickest seat I could find which was on the next to last pew. While taking my seat, my peripheral vision caught a glimpse of a guy seated behind me on the last row. I didn’t think much of it. Until it was offering time. BIIIIIIIIITCH!!!!!! When I turned around and saw that MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG! This Brotha was PHOINE!!!!!!! Beautiful caramel skin, lips that looked as soft as pillows, with a blemish free, chiseled face. If that wasn't enough, he had the nerve to have BODY! He wore a fitted, white knit, long sleeve shirt that hugged ever ripple his 8 pack abs created. I thought it was a dream. Oh but wasn’t.  I cussed in my head……”SHIT!" But tried not to be so damn mesmerized. I found out later that “Ely” was new to the church/area and visited due to his Mother attending the church.  I knew I had NEVER seen anyone that fine in my church before. Suddenly that chill that was in the air turned into a hot, steamy, humid summer day in the Caribbean. I wanted to turn around a thousand times just to get another glimpse. Nevertheless, I resisted. 

For all intents and purposes, here’s a visual reference….. Henry Simmons and “Ely” could be twins. 

   At this point, Bible study was winding down and Pastor was making his last few announcements in regards to the rest of the week. We dismissed, I gathered my things, and made small talk with some of the other members. After which, I headed toward the vestibule to exit. Well as I made my exit, “Ely” opened the door for me and shook my hand. I tried to play it cool. But then, it happened. He gave me………….THE LOOK! I froze. I couldn’t move. I…..I….I was shocked, turned on, ashamed, and intrigued all at the same time. I’ll tell you why. First of all, I subscribe to the old adage….”You don’t eat and shit in the same place” That applies to any place where you don’t want your “business” to get out (i.e. Church, work, etc…). At any rate, I came back to earth and played it cool.  When I got to my car, the following thoughts were running through my head.…"OMG, did that just happen? Nooooo! He’s too fine! And me? He wants ME? Did he clock me? DAMN! This Brotha is good. Nah…..I interpreted it wrong."

   Weeks passed and I started seeing him more often at church. He really enjoyed the services and started bringing his girlfriend around. I can’t hate though…they made a beautiful couple. So much so, until the Pastor often times used them as an example in his charismatic sermons. They were the epitome of a beautiful relationship. I sighed to myself and said, “Well, I guess I did interpret that look wrong.” HA! but I hadn’t. 

    We had two Men’s fellowship events. One was a Super Bowl Party where we made eye contact often. It was hot as SHIT! Another was a prayer breakfast. He was seated at another table, But came and sat next to me once we fixed our food. He told me that he was 26, graduated top of his MBA program, and was looking for work in his field. My dick started getting hard. The way he was looking at me and talking to me….he knew he could have me. The confidence and swag he possessed was electrifying. We finished the breakfast and he suggested that we workout together sometime. I concurred and we agreed to compare schedules at a later date. 

   The next week, Ely and his girlfriend came to church. They were seated next to each other and the Pastor was up preaching. I mean preaching hard too. I was on the side of the stage, pretending to listen to the Pastor, but I was looking at Ely as he looked at the Pastor. Baby, he was looking so damn good in that tailored suit, I coulda nutted all over the organ. LMAO! Inconspicuously,  I was getting my stare on or so I thought. It "seemed" Ely was paying attention to Pastor’s sermon. When all of a sudden, he SNAPPED his head the right (real fast) and clocked the shit outta me. I turned away in devastation because I was caught. But what he did next wore my muthafuckin ass OUT! This dude, slowly turned his head back to the left, squinted his eyes and smirked. BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITHCH!!!!!! I could’ve fainted. I felt like my tea had spilled and was running down the middle isle for the whole church to see. 

   Eventually, I ended up leaving that church to go help a friend out at another church. Ely and I never got the chance to workout together or fuck. But damn I wanted to. He eventually went on to marry his beautiful girlfriend. 'Til this very day, he can still put a smile on my face just by thinking of the times we shared. LOL!

  Although it didn’t go down between me and Ely, Church people get their freak on. I also subscribe to the adage of….”If he got a dick, he bussin PLENTY nutts.”